Ladies, we really need your help with this one. We guys are designed to hunt. To compete. To capture. To provide. You know, “you just wait here in the cave while I go off and kill us some dinner.” Unfortunately these primal urges and associated skills don’t often translate to “success” in the lifestyle. We mistakenly focus on the female instead of the couple. We forget about the other guy (you know, her husband) thinking he can fend for himself. You can’t blame us really, it’s what we do best, it’s what we’ve always done. It’s how we are hard wired.
I will be the first to admit: my life is much better with Mrs Jones (figuratively) by my side. My conference speech is more effective when my tie matches my shirt. My race times are faster when I follow the training plan she makes for me. Her “subtle” reminders around the house and never ending “honey-do” lists ensure we don’t live in a jungle. Her encouragement and support challenge me to grow as a person. Most importantly I’ve learned that using a napkin and saying “excuse me” leads to sex with her more readily than using my natural mating calls.
When are we most successful in the lifestyle? When we are (literally) standing side-by-side. When we are together we see an attractive couple, not a beautiful woman. We listen more than we speak. We talk equally to stay in balance. We connect with a couple instead of competing with the rest of the room. You know, it’s kind of like how you drove a car at age 17 when a parent was in the passenger seat instead of your best friend. You were safer, smarter, paid closer attention and became a better driver.
When she is beside me we are more attractive, more approachable, and we feel like a safe zone to others. When we are together we always notice other couples before other singles (stick by your wife, guys). And, when we do meet another couple we are both starting from the same spot when developing that critical first impression and connection.
So what’s the moral of the story? Don’t be the kind of caveman that leaves his wife in the cave! Grab her by the hand (not the hair) and take her hunting with you, side-by-side.